Trekipedia

Rules of Acquisition

The first Rules of Acquisition, codifying Ferengi culture for millennia to follow, were written by Grand Nagus Gint.^[24] Ferengi children were expected to memorize all 285 rules of acquisition on command,^[1] though females were forbidden to do so^[7] prior to Grand Nagus Zek‘s reforms of the 2370s.^[33]

1. Once you have their money, you never give it back.^[1]
3. Never spend more for an acquisition than you have to.^[13]
6. Never allow family to stand in the way of opportunity.^[1]
7. Keep your ears open.^[3]
8. Small print leads to large risk.^[21]
9. Opportunity plus instinct equals profit.^[2]
10. Greed is eternal.^[20]
13. Anything worth doing is worth doing for money.^[21]
16. A deal is a deal…^[6] until a better one comes along.^[21]
17. A contract is a contract is a contract. But only between Ferengi.^[24]
18. A Ferengi without profit is no Ferengi at all.^[18]
19. Satisfaction is not guaranteed.^[21]
21. Never place friendship above profit.^[7]
22. A wise man can hear profit in the wind.^[7]
27. There’s nothing more dangerous than an honest businessman.^[21]
31. Never make fun of a Ferengi’s mother…^[5] insult something he cares about instead.^[21]
33. It never hurts to suck up to the boss.^[7]
34. War is good for business.^[19]
35. Peace is good for business.^[19]
40. She can touch your lobes, but never your latinum.^[21]
41. Profit is its own reward.^[21]
44. Never confuse wisdom with luck.^[21]
47. Don’t trust a man wearing a better suit than your own.^[9]
48. The bigger the smile, the sharper the knife.^[7]
52. Never ask when you can take.^[21]
57. Good customers are rare as latinum. Treasure them.^[10]
58. There is no substitute for success.^[21]
59. Free advice is seldom cheap.^[7]
60. Keep your lies consistent.^[21]
62. The riskier the road, the greater the profit.^[7]
65. Win or lose, there’s always Huyperian beetle snuff.^[21]
75. Home is where the heart is… but the stars are made of latinum.^[16]
76. Every once in a while, declare peace. It confuses the hell out of your enemies!^[4]
79. Beware of the Vulcan greed for knowledge.^[21]
82. The flimsier the product, the higher the price.^[21]
85. Never let the competition know what you’re thinking.^[21]
89. Ask not what your profits can do for you, but what you can do for your profits.^[21]
94. Females and finances don’t mix.^{[21, 29]}
95. Expand or die.^[25]
97. Enough… is never enough.^[21]
98. Every man has his price.^[28]
99. Trust is the biggest liability of all.^[21]
102. Nature decays, but latinum lasts forever.^[15]
103. Sleep can interfere with… (ending unknown)^[7]
104. Faith moves mountains… of inventory.^[21]
106. There is no honor in poverty.^[21]
109. Dignity and an empty sack is worth the sack.^[9]
111. Treat people in your debt like family… exploit them.^{[17, 26]}
112. Never have sex with the boss’s sister.^[12]
113. Always have sex with the boss.^[21]
117. You can’t free a fish from water.^[21] (See also: Rule 217)
121. Everything is for sale, even friendship.^[21]
123. Even a blind man can recognize the glow of latinum.^[21]
125. You can’t make a deal if you’re dead.^[31]
139. Wives serve, brothers inherit.^[8]
141. Only fools pay retail.^[21]
144. There’s nothing wrong with charity… as long as it ends up in your pocket.^[21]
162. Even in the worst times, someone turns a profit.^[21]
177. Know your enemies… but do business with them always.^[21]
181. Not even dishonesty can tarnish the shine of profit.^[21]
189. Let others keep their reputation. You keep their money.^[21]
190. Hear all, trust nothing.^[27]
192. Never cheat a Klingon… unless you’re sure you can get away with it.^[21]
194. It’s always good business to know about your customers before they walk in your door.^[11]
202. The justification for profit is profit.^[21]
203. New customers are like razor-toothed gree-worms. They can be succulent, but sometimes they bite back.^[22]
211. Employees are the rungs on the ladder of success. Don’t hesitate to step on them.^[23]
214. Never begin a business negotiation on an empty stomach.^[13]
217. You can’t free a fish from water.^[17] (See also: Rule 117)
218. Always know what you’re buying.^[21]
223. Beware the man who doesn’t make time for oo-mox.^[21]
229. Latinum lasts longer than lust.^[21]
236. You can’t buy fate.^[21]
239. Never be afraid to mislabel a product.^[24]
242. More is good… all is better.^[21]
255. A wife is a luxury… a smart accountant a necessity.^[21]
261. A wealthy man can afford anything except a conscience.^[21]
263. Never allow doubt to tarnish your lust for latinum.^[23]
266. When in doubt, lie.^[21]
284. Deep down everyone’s a Ferengi.^[21]
285. No good deed ever goes unpunished.^{[14, 30]}
Unk. Exploitation begins at home.^[32]